It's my gotcha day

Five years ago today I first came to this house. I thought it would "do" so decided to stick around and honour the denizens with my presence. Apparently AlphaB let me stay because she thought I "would not last long". SUCKER!

Aren't they lucky?

In celebration of this auspicious event I think I need a few more treats, I wonder if they will bring me salmon for breakfast?

Hang on a sec... do I spy food?


Hmm... looks suspiciously like food to me....


It IS FOOD. WAIT FOR ME.


Yes that bit will do nicely.


Leave the plates, I will clean up...



Right then - what's for my gotcha day dinner? Steak? A date with Finnegan?

I've figured it out.

I have the answer, I've worked out were those silly humans are going wrong and why they are not as happy as lurchers.

I really have.

It all goes wrong at the start of the day, it's called "Getting up".



Silly humans.

Lack of Lurcher action

No doubt you've all noticed that there has been a serious deficit of lurchery sprinting photos of late. Well there is a reason for that. It's dark when we go out. And no matter HOW much we run about, our rubbish humans fail to catch us on camera.

Defective, I say.

To make up for this I decided to help out the humans with a bit of "in the house" action:

I CAN catch!




Hey - three for three - how good is that?

Other denizens of Tigh Gadhar are not quite sure what to do with this kind of action:


But I'm reliably informed if the toy is thrown directly into the gaping maw QB calls a mouth, he can manage to close it in time and not bite his tongue:

Me? I'm not convinced.

We have an interloper

There is ANOTHER dog in the house....
His name is Marlowe and he is definitively NOT an SUMD:


He's been to visit before, but has always gone home, THIS time he brought his OWN bed which he put in the middle of OUR living room, which does not bode well. The cheek:


Apparently the girls think he is quite handsome, but I don't see it myself. And what's more... is he DROOOOOOOOLS:


Yeeeurch!

I'm a good boy I am, I don't do that.

I think I'll just lie on the sofa and sulk till he goes.

What do you MEAN?

There's no Smoked Salmon?


Oh well... I suppose I will have to slum it with sausages then...


What IS the world coming to?

I've been a little under the weather of late, so those suckers humans have been spoiling me, don't tell the others


Ooops... I've been spotted... does this mean I have to share?

I hear...

There is salmon.....



Where's mine?

How cold can it be?

My Turn (Boots here).

It looks like winter is here, it's been very chilly in the mornings. The humans don't seem to understand us lurchers REALLY feel the cold. They still want us to go outide first thing, even when it's DARK.

For dog's sake, when the sun is up the gras still looks like this:


And they want us to go out in it?
No way, I'm not budging:


Tealeaf won't budge:


Megan won't budge:


Cleo won't budge:


But there's always ONE dissenter isn't there....

Look - there's even ICE in the water bowl? That dog is HARD!

Talk about adding insult to injury

After her protracted absence and negligence on the blog front, AlphaB is REALLY adding insult to injury.

Not only does that pesky deerhound get to NOT go out in the dark, cold, rain, wind and mud, AlphaB actually BRIBES her to stay home:


What do I have to do to get the same treatment? Someone tell me... PLEASE!

Humans are pants.

Not ONLY did she who must be obeyed disappear for a whole two-and-a-half weeks. Not ONLY was she consorting with Bassets and Collies:


Not ONLY did she come home smelling of them, Not ONLY did she leave us to console the DogFather in his hour of bewilderment, she also has managed to not help us update our blog since she got back.. that's nearly TWO WHOLE weeks.

Humans are PANTS I tell you. Defective.

I'm going to have to lick her into shape...
Grab:


and PULL!


See - she can't even win a ragger off me. There's no hope for her I tell you. Anyone want a defective mum? I'll trade her in for a better model.