House Rules

Tigh Gadhar House Rules: a mix of instructions for dogs and humans

1. Do NOT feed anything with more legs than you (without permission).
   
   
2. "Dogs out of the kitchen" does not have a 2 minute time out.
   
   
3. If you see a dog (specifically a female dog) peeing, throw a bucket of water over it. The pee, not the dog.
   
   
4. Dogs will not beg at the table. EVER.¹
   
   
5. KuBrin has his own bed. This is because he cannot fit into any others. All other dogs share.
   
   
6. Sofas are for humans.
   
   
7. Sofas are for humans when they are in the house.
   
   
8. Sofas are for humans when they are in the house as long as they do not want to sit on the floor.
   
   
9. Dogs will get OFF the sofas when asked.
   
   
10. Do not pass a dog without giving it a snog or a tummy tickle (this shall particularily be invoked in the "last paws" clause).
    
    
11. Any food in YOUR dog bowl belongs to you. Other dog's bowls are off limits.
    
    
12. Headbutting humans putting on walking boots is counter productive and not allowed.
    
    
13. Thou shalt not counter-surf. Even if you have to look down on the counter. The Oven is also off-limits.
    
    
14. Thou shalt not shout "gimme five" to the wolfhound when the Dogfather is standing in front of him with his hands full.
    

Notes:
¹ This rule will be relaxed during the "last paws" phase <sup>2

2</sup> "Last paws" is deemed to not last more than 4 months <sup>3

3</sup> Any broach of this 4 month rule will be considered downright sneaky and worthy of a Deerhound and rewarded with further sausages.